• Data Correlation. The Britsh Political Party that is tough on numbers, tough on the causes of numbers.

Catching everyone by suprise, not least Jeremy Corbyn, but not the Data Correlation Party, the 2017 General Election is afoot!



The rise of uncertainty in Britain is just one area which for many years has been given scant attention. Whilst the most accurate forms of it’s prognosis are linear, it is camber of the apogee of uncertainty which clouds much of the understanding of it’s latent significance. This latency is of such consequence that it will remain the focus of misinterpretation as long as Government funding is siphoned off into other areas of computational science. The geometry of doubt has long been one of a steadily accelerating downhill spiral, pitched between a torus of hesitancy and a loop of deepest quandary. The Data Correlation Party are the nation’s self-proclaimed experts in this field and a vote for The Data Correlation Party is your best hope for the future elimination of the approximation of dilemma.

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The Data Correlation Party Summer Conference this year was held on the floating island of Laputa which was been moored for the occasion in Eastbourne. However, the opening addresses were thrown into chaos due to the effects of the tail-end of Hurricane Bertha, which led to the island breaking loose and floating off in the general direction of Belgium.
Once a sea-anchor was deployed and the rate of easterly drift bought under control, the conference got underway, about 12 miles north of Ostend. Amongst the early debates was one on the alarming propensity towards accelerating rates of doubt convergence in the European Union, during which the Flemish Gegevenscorrelatie Partij MEP Dr Verkleuring van Klembord was able to clamber aboard and provide the Belgian slant on scepticism amalgamation in the low countries in the 21st century.
The Conference continued with a discussion on 'Procrastinated Quandary', which started over two hours late owing to the late arrival of the main speaker, Dr Dawdle Wainscoting, who was putting the final touches to his address. The Conference continued in blustery conditions and by the conclusion of the day the venue had drifted further east until it was deemed to be a navigation hazard to aircraft approaching Amsterdam Schiphol airport and attempts were made to fasten a line to bring it under tow.

The Conference finally came to a successful, if slightly rushed close, when a forecast of further blustery weather meant the venue was in danger of ditching in the North Sea and it was felt prudent to evacuate some of the more portly and non-swimming delegates as Laputa passed over Den Haag. With the next General Election just nine months away further conferences will be held and you can be sure they will be extensively reported here.

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• The Data Correlation Party, stood in the European Elections up, down and across the country.

We are this year on the unprecedented doorstep of opportunity, for at this historic time we, the British people, for I speak as one of them myself, are presented with the chance to fling open the door of change and step through the portal of potential into the vestibule of enhancement beyond. For too many long, bleak years we have languished in the maudlin gloom of austerity Britain, where each of us resigned to living the myopic vision of despondency in an era where too many people do not know where their next clipboard is coming from. Now at last this European Parliamentary Election bestows upon us the responsibility to cease for ourselves the nettle of transition into a new era of true correlation for the populace across this great continent.

In Britain the contest was a straight four-way fight between UKIP, the Data Correlation Party, Labour & Plaid Cymru. The battle, played out in the egg-shops, ballot-boxes and small patches of waste ground up and down the breadth of the country.

The final poll-of-polls assimilated by our 'Statistical things made clear department' into this graph showed the battle across the country became more obtuse as it tended towards nano-divergence the closer polling day approached. What was clear however was that the Data Correlation Party was set to make major gains up and down the land and indeed other lands besides right across Europe. In Italy the 'Partio Correlazione di Dati' was expected to make major inroads, whilst in Liechtenstein the 'Das Partei Fuer Eine Neue Daten Korrelation Des Fürstentum Liechetenstein still takes up at least half of the ballot paper in the principality.

Keep tuned here for the latest developments and excessive statistal analysis. In the meantime, some posters for your humble abode, haçienda, yurt or château. See Twitter feed for full-sized downloads.